Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, Revised!
by CollieandShire
Summary: Indiana Jones and his daughter Leah Jones leave America to search for Indy's father and the Holy Grail. Little did they know the amount of trouble they were about to find. AU.
1. Introduction, College Life

_We do not claim to own any of the Indiana Jones/ Star Wars characters OR any of the other characters that run through this story. They belong to their creators. The only characters we own are Leah Mia Jones, Random Soldier/Random Soldiers and the cat, Muffin._

_-Collie and Shire_

_**Collie and Shire's revision of Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade**_

Written by Collie and Shire

_**Introduction**_

Indy knocked both men down with one powerful swing!

Though the raging sea tossed the cargo ship like a toy boat Indiana Jones was undeterred. He scaled the stack of crates with lightning speed, careful not to lose the Cross of Coronado.

"Get him! GET HIM!" Panama hat yelled desperately through pouring rain and waling winds.

Indy leaped from the top of the stack, caught the hook of the ship's crane and swung right off the ship and into the waters below. Just then the one of the fuel tanks came loose and went crashing to the deck.

Sparks flew. The fuel ignited.

In a split second what had been vessel exploded into a ball of fire and shrapnel.

Indy surfaced to the remnants of a billowing cloud of red and black smoke. He made his way to a lifesaver passing by.

_Good, _he thought smugly as his hand felt around the frame of his treasure. He hadn't lost it in that dive.

Grimly he stared at the blood stained Panama hat as it floated past.

* * *

_**Chapter One**_

Marshall College; Bedford, CT

"…Archeology is the search for FACT, not truth. If you want truth Dr. Tyree's philosophy class is just down the hall." Dr. Jones smirked.

His students snickered.

"We do not follow maps to buried treasure and X never, ever marks the spot."

An elderly gentleman walked briskly down the hall as Indy's voice droned on. He entered the classroom and nodded to the teacher. Indy acknowledged the nod with a quick glance. He turned to his students and announced, "Okay, that's it for today. School's over. I'll be in my office for the next hour and a half to answer any questions regarding the assignment on Egyptology." As the students filed out Indiana once more turned to Marcus, and flashed him one of his cocky grins. "I got it."

"You got it!" Marcus exclaimed.

Indy's grin grew wider as he unfolded a hankie and handed over the Cross of Coronado. "Do you know how long I've been searching for this?" he asked.

"All your life?"

"All my life."

"Gee Indy. I would have thought a smart guy like you could figure out something better to do."

Indy stopped celebrating his victory and stared at Marcus. "You know you're the one who sends me after this stuff." He muttered.

"Oh yeah." Marcus mused.

Indy rolled his eyes and picked up his books.

In his office, Indy was greeted by a swarm of people who were not pleased with his unreliability.

"Dr. Jones! Dr. Jones!" the students cried.

Indiana rolled his eyes and pushed through the crowd of students.

"Doctor Jones!" Irene, his assistant, called out. "Thank goodness you're back! Here are your phone messages," Irene handed him some papers, "and your mail is on your desk, and these papers still haven't been graded!"

"DR. JONES!"

Indiana couldn't take the noise anymore and yelled, "Irene! Put the students name down in the order they arrived and I'll see them _each in turn_!"

With that he entered his private office and slammed the door shut. Making his way to his desk, he threw himself into the chair and sighed.

Indy glanced at the door that led to the boiler room. His students were plastered to the window frame, banging at the glass to get his attention. He sighed once more, and picked up a package that was in his mail. "Venice, Italy." He read out loud. He now turned his gaze to the window outside. Movement on the steps leading to the college caught his attention. It was a little girl, sitting on the stairs with a stick in her left hand. She appeared to be drawing something, and Indy noted that the stick was burnt. It suddenly occurred to him for a stick to be burned it had to _be_ burned, most likely by the user. He put the package from Venice in his coat, than stuck his hand in his pocket and searched for his lucky charm. Gone. _GRRRR. _He growled. _She's in trouble. _Once more he looked towards the door to his office, than looked back out the window. His mind was made up-he would rather fight with a little girl than to answer questions from a dozen students.

Indiana leapt out the window, turned around and shut it behind him. He faced the direction of the front of the college and watched as the blond girl dropped her stick and raced over to him. She skidded to a stop, inches from running into him, and flashed him a charming smile.

"Hi dad!" she cried, her blue eyes twinkling as she threw her arms around him. She didn't seem to care he'd just climbed out of a college window.

"Shh!" Indiana hushed her, looking over the college grounds. No one seemed to be around. "Leah!" he scolded. "What have I told you about calling me," he once more glanced around, then lowered his voice and hissed, "dad."

"To not do." She replied, tossing her hair behind her shoulder. "Which, I'm not sure why. 'Cause I haven't seen Belloq in _forever _and I don't think-"

"Never mind _why, _just, don't. Not in public."

"Yeah, okay _dad._" She said with a naughty smile.

"You're in trouble." Indy muttered as he turned and began walking briskly across the college lawn. Both Leah and he failed to notice the car farther down the road, with three men in it.

"Why?" Leah asked as she ran to keep up with her father's pace.

"Because you took my lucky charm!"

"Oh," Leah mumbled. "I forgot about that. That was like, a long time ago- you shouldn't hold grudges."

"Well, I want it back!" Indiana snapped, snatching it from her before she even really had a chance to take it out of her pocket.

"Touchy, touchy."

Just as father and daughter reached the curb; a long, black, Packard sedan pulled up and the driver opened the door.

"Dr. Jones!"

Indy and Leah turned to face him.

Both of his passengers also exited the car. They tipped their hats curtly and with an air of superiority surrounded the two.

"Dr. Jones?"


	2. A Tale of Two Grandpas

Chapter 2

"You know dad, I could get used to living in a place like this."

Indiana Jones found himself in a beautiful room, elaborately decorated with artifacts dating thousands of years from hundreds of places around the globe. He admired them; but owning pieces of history isn't half of what it is to find them, he thought.

Having extracted no reaction from her father, Leah, who was enjoying the refreshments laid out at a small white coffee table tried again.

"This place is great."

This time Indiana caught wind of some underlying resentment. He stared at his daughter. "What's the matter with our place?"

"Well for a start, it has no walls."

The panel doors of the room opened into the next and a tall man in a tuxedo entered the room. For a moment the soft piano music and gentle voices of a cocktail party could be heard beyond him.

Although in his upper fifties his broad shoulders and trim physique made room for thought of a much younger man. With a friendly smile and forward hand he strode briskly across the room to Indy.

"I trust your trip down was cum-fert-able, Doct-er Jones."

"He talks weird," Leah whispered. Indy gave her a warning shove.

"My men didn't alarm you, I hope."

"Not much. But I think one of them might be crazy," Indy answered as they shook hands.

"Yes," Leah chimed in, "After they ordered us at gunpoint to get in the car he said something about going to California, and that we'd like it."

An irritated look crossed the elderly gentleman's face. "Oh. Yes. Random."

"Random?" Indy repeated.

"That's his name. Random can be a little- well, random at times. Sorry about that. Fortunately though he is not the reason you are here. Let me introduce myself. My name is Donovan; Walter Donovan."

"I know who you are, Mr. Donovan. Your contributions over the years to the museum have been extremely generous."

"So who is this?" Donovan gestured with another friendly smile to Leah.

"Uhh... My brother's daughter-in-law, Leah. You caught me at a bad time; I was babysitting."

He leaned over to shake her hand and nodded kindly. "Delighted to meet you,"

Leah blushed and mumbled a "Same to you, sir."

"Some of the pieces in your collection here are very impressive." Indiana gestured around the room.

"Yes, Dr. Jones, like yourself I have a passion for antiquities! Take a look over here." Of a sudden Donovan became very animated and lightly crossed the room to the coffee table. He paused in surprise at the tray of refreshments and crumbs that dotted it, but simply set them aside and uncovered an ancient stone tablet beneath them.

"This might interest you,"

At the sight of the tablet Indiana's curiosity was immediately aroused. Without a word he put on his glasses and looked it over, carefully. Leah followed close behind.

"Sandstone… Christian symbol… early Latin text. I'd date this around the… twelfth century."

"That was our assessment as well." Donovan nodded.

"Where did you get this?"

"Ankara. My engineers unearthed it while excavating for copper."

"Uhhh- how did it survive?"

"Good question. To this day I still don't know."

"Mmm." Indy nodded.

"Can you read the inscription?"

"Met is bibid aquwoom…"

Leah sat down on the davenport; knowing once her father got started with THIS kind of stuff… it could be some time before anything exciting happened again.

"He who drinks the water, says the Lord, will have a spring of eternal life welling up within him. Let them bring me to a mountain…"

Donovan filled two fluted glasses with Champaign. Then, with a glance toward Leah he took a bottle sparkling cider out from underneath the table and poured another.

"Across the desert and through a mountain to the canyon of the crescent moon. Where the cup that-"

Indy stopped in his tracks and looked up at Donovan, taking off his glasses. Donovan nodded with a knowing grin while he handed Leah one of the glasses.

"Where the cup that holds Jesus Christ's blood resides forever."

"WOW." Leah's eyes grew huge and she smacked her lips.

"Oops. Wrong glass." Donovan took it from her quickly and gave her the other.

"What is so great about a cup?"

"It's not just any cup it's The Holy Grail," Donovan explained with awe in his voice. "The chalice used by Christ during the last supper. The cup that caught the blood of his Crucifixion and was entrusted to Joseph of Arimathaea."

A dubious expression played across Indy's face as he took the glass that the latter offered him.

"I've heard this bed time story before."

"Eternal life, Dr. Jones! Now that's a bedtime story I wouldn't mind waking up to."

"I thought Jesus was the one who gave eternal life," Leah put in timidly. Both her father and Donovan ignored her.

"Ha. An old man's dream."

"Every man's dream," Donovan corrected him, "Including your father's, I believe."

"Grandpa Vader isn't interested in eternal life or I think he woulda changed his ways by now."

"No, Leah! Your other grandpa, Henry Jones. The one you haven't met yet?"

"Ohhhhh. That Grandpa." She paused a moment to sip her cider.

"Grail lore is his hobby. He's a teacher of medieval literature, the one the students hope they don't get." Indy sneered.

"Walter, you're avoiding your guests," Donovan's wife came in with a smile.

"In a moment dear."

He went over and gave his wife a kiss on the cheek. When she had left he turned to find Indy rubbing some of the Champaign over the tablet so that he could read the markings better.

"Hard to resist, isn't it? The Holy Grails' final resting place, described in detail."

"What good is it? This speaks of deserts, mountains, canyons. Pretty vague. If it were intact maybe we'd have something to go on but the entire top portion's missing."

"Just the same, an attempt to recover the grail is currently under way. Let me tell you another, 'bedtime story' Doct-er Jones. The cup was lost for a thousand years until three knights of the first crusade found it again- three brothers, to be exact."

"I heard this one too. They found it, had a great time, two of them left and died of extreme old age while one stayed and lived happily ever after supposedly. The end."

"Not supposedly, Dr. Jones." He gestured to a frail manuscript on a stand.

Indy put his glasses on again and looked over the ancient book as Donovan continued.

"This is the manuscript in which the friar chronicled the knight's tale. It doesn't reveal the location of the grail I'm afraid, but the knight promised two markers would be left behind would. This tablet…" Once more Donovan hurried across the room and back to the tablet. "is one of those markers! It proves the knight's story is true! But as you pointed out, it's incomplete. Now, the second marker is entombed with the knight's dead brother."

"Eww." Leah scrunched up her face.

"Our project leader believes this tomb to be located in Venice, Italy. So as you now see, Doct-er Jones, we're about to complete a great quest, which began nearly two thousand years ago. We're only one step away."

"That's usually when the ground falls out from beneath your feet."

"You could be more right than you know," The elderly gentleman returned with a look of displeasure.

"Yes?"

"We've hit a snag. Our project leader has vanished. Along with all his research. That's where you come in. I want you to pick up the trail where he left off. Find the man, and you'll find the grail."

Indiana Jones chuckled. "You got the wrong Jones, Mr. Donovan. Why don't you try my father?"

"We already have. You're father is the man who went missing."

"COOL!" Leah exclaimed.


	3. Missing

_So here's another chapter in our story! If you've enjoyed reading this please leave us a review! It will be very appreciated! Thanks to M.H.T. of R. for all of the kind reviews! It means a lot to us! :)_

_-Collie and Shire_

* * *

"So are we going to save him? Are we gonna to have to go on a great adventure and fight bad guys and-"

"Leah!" Indiana snapped. "Be quiet! We'll go to Grandpa Henry's house and see if he's there, then we'll take it from there."

"But Mr. Donovan said-"

"Listen Leah, he might have decided to come home. You never know. For all we know he's back at home taking a nap because he gave up!"

"That doesn't sound like your father to me." Marcus commented.

Marcus had picked up Indiana and Leah from Donovan's house. Indiana had ordered him to drive straight to Henry's house to see if he was there. Now Indy could only hope that what Donovan has said wasn't true. He doubted that his father would give up a search for the grail, but still…perhaps he had given up. Perhaps he realized field work wasn't his area. He didn't know.

"Indy," Marcus began, bringing him out of his train of thought. "Your father and I have been friends since time began. I've watched you grow up Indy. I watched the two of you grow apart. I've never seen you this concerned about him before."

Before Indy could reply Marcus suddenly slammed the brakes on the car. "What on earth!" Marcus exclaimed.

Indy turned his gaze to the pedestrian who was frozen in the middle of the road. With an exasperated sigh he jerked the passenger door open and stepped out of the car. "Luke!" he shouted. "What are you doing!"

"Hey Ha-I mean Indiana." Luke grinned sheepishly. "I was looking for Leah."

"Luke, I told you a thousand times, Leah was with me today!"

"Sorry Indy, I couldn't remember if she was with you or if I was supposed to pick her up from school."

"Were you in another trance or something?" Indiana demanded.

"I was trying to get hold of Obi-Wan, but he didn't come." Luke said forlornly.

"Luke!" Indy sighed. "I thought we went over this. He isn't coming back."

"You don't know Obi like I-"

"Yeah yeah I know." Indy cut him off. He then turned to the car and called out, "Leah, make room in the back for Luke."

"Hi Uncle Luke!" she shouted from the window as she moved her coat from the extra seat. "You can sit by me!"

Indy walked back to the car and got back into his seat next to Marcus. "Come on Luke!"

Luke opened the car door and got in the back with Leah, who started to tell him all about the day's events.

Twenty minutes later, Marcus pulled the car up to Henry Jones's home. Indy was the first one out, and he jogged up to the door. He stopped before knocking as he stared at the door. It was ajar.

"Dad!" he shouted, bursting through. "Dad!"

Leah wasn't far behind him, with Marcus and Luke right behind her. In single file they entered the house right behind Indy. It only took one look for them to realize how serious the situation was. Marcus and Luke gasped and Indiana sucked in a deep breath. Leah looked from one adult to the other, than looked at the scene before her.

Indiana, Luke and Marcus picked their way through the piles of overturned furniture, strewn papers and broken glass. Marcus stopped at a table, where mail was cluttered everywhere.

"It's today's mail. And it's been open." Marcus announced.

"Mail!" Indiana exclaimed. "That's it!"

Indy jerked out the package he'd received and read it aloud. "Venice, Italy."

"What does it mean, Indy?" Marcus asked.

"Yeah dad, what does it mean?" Leah echoed.

Indy ripped the paper off the package and stared at the book in front of him. "It's dad's grail diary. This is his whole life, why did he send this to me?"

"Beats me," Luke shrugged,"especially since you've been so awful to him."

Indiana glared at Luke. "You should talk. What do you think, Marcus?"

"Someone must want it pretty badly."Marcus said.

Indiana glanced once more at the diary in his hands, then looked at Marcus. "Marcus, get on the phone and tell Donovan I'll take that ticket."

With that, Indy turned and headed out the door towards Marcus's car.

Leah looked to Marcus, who turned to follow Indy, muttering to himself, "I'll tell him we'll take two."

Leah raced after her father and skidded to a halt before him. "Dad!" she exclaimed. "What about me?"

"You'll stay here with Uncle Luke."Indiana said firmly.

"Aww." Leah groaned.

"That's okay Leah," Luke assured her. "I was planning a trip to Grandpa Vader's anyways."

"YAY!" Leah shouted.

"I changed my mind, you're coming with me and Marcus." Indy quickly interjected.

"Aww!"

"Leah, you wanted to go with me in the first place, remember?"

"But that was before I knew Luke was going to visit Grandpa Vader." Leah protested.

Indy ignored his daughter's pleas and turned to Marcus. "Change of plans, Marcus. Tell Donovan we'll take three tickets. One for you, one for me, and one for Leah."

* * *

The turbines of a waiting plane roared in the background as a limousine drove up.

"Tell me, what's to happen when we reach Venice?" Asked Marcus anxiously as he got out.

"Don't worry," Donovan reassured."A Dr. Schnitzel will be there to meet you."

"Schnitzel?"

"Yes. One of the archeologists who was working under Henry. I maintain an apartment in Venice, at your disposal."

By this time Leah had squeezed past.

"That's swell!" she beamed to Donovan as Marcus muttered on and walked away. "We have an apartment; but that's because dad blew up our house by accident. I was just telling him-"

"Leah!" Indy hissed as he pushed through.

"Dad?" Donovan said curiously.

"Oh," Leah answered quickly. "He came visiting yesterday, and he's going to stay and clean up Grandpa Henry's house. His name's Luke."

Donovan smiled and nodded, then turned his attention to Indy. "Good luck, Doc-ter Jones. Be very careful. Don't trust anyone."

"Right." _We're going to fascist Italy- do you really think I'll 'trust'anybody?_

* * *

Indiana settled back in his seat, trying to get some rest. But it was not to be, for Leah had other plans.

"Da-I mean, Indiana." She began. It only took that first word for him to know she had something up.

"No." he mumbled.

"I haven't even asked you yet!"

"Whatever it is, no."

"Please, let me just ask first."

Indiana growled, and sat back up."Alright, what is it?"

"Can I get a horse?" she pleaded.

"What! No! I've told you that a million times, you're not getting a horse!" Indy exclaimed. "Besides, why are you asking me this now?"

"I dunno, I was thinking about it just now." She said with a sigh. "Why can't I have a horse?"

"Because they're expensive, we don't have a yard for one and we'd have to keep it at a boarding stable, which is double the price of keeping it at home."

"Can't I have a pony then?"

"No!"

"A big dog I can ride?"

"Leah!" Indy snapped. "You already have a cat. Isn't that disgusting cat enough?" he was referring to Lady Muffin, Leah's fat orange cat. Muffin had a bad habit of gorging herself on cat food and then throwing it up. Muffin was the most useless cat Indy had ever laid eyes on. Not only did she spit up everywhere, she also slept all day and never got up except to eat. The end result was that of lots and lots of cat hair all over the apartment they were living at.

"Well, if I can't have a dog, pony, or a horse, perhaps I can get another cat?" Leah now asked hopefully.

"Sure, if it's to replace the other one." Indy muttered.

"No! I wanted another cat to be Muffin's friend, not to replace her!" Leah exclaimed.

"Leah, can we talk about this some other time?" Indiana asked. "I've got some research to do." He didn't even wait for a response, just opened up his father's journal and got to work.


	4. Elsa Schnitzel

_Okay, here is the next installment of our story! We love reviews, so if you've enjoyed this so far let us know!_

_-Collie and Shire_

* * *

Chapter 4

The plane could not land directly in Venice, it being a city upon the water, so the threesome took a boat for the last leg of the trip. As it docked and let out its fashionably dressed passengers, Marcus began to worry.

"I don't see him, Indy."

"Relax, Marcus."

Leah stretched her arms and legs as she hopped out.

"How are we supposed to recognize this, 'Dr. Schnitzel' anyway?" Marcus demanded.

"Wait- Schnitzel?" Leah asked.

Indiana replied, "I don't know, maybe he'll know us-"

"Dr. Jones?"

Indy turned around to see a beautiful woman in a sharp grey suit, with blond hair and blue eyes addressing him.

She smiled. "I knew it vas you."

"How?"

"Three Americans of the exact description I was given could hardly by anyvon else." She continued to smile. "My name is Dr. Elsa Schnitzel, I will be your escort while you stay in Venice. Marcus Brody," she nodded to Marcus.

"Yes, that's right. How do you do?" Marcus cordially extended his hand.

"And this is?" She smiled down to Leah.

"Leah Skywalker." Leah answered politely, but something about Elsa made her suspicious.

* * *

"Zeh last time I saw Professor Jones we vere in zeh library. He was very close to tracking down the knight's tomb, and very excited. He vas as giddy as a school boy." Elsa explained as they walked briskly down a sidewalk towards the library.

A gentleman in a white suit and holding a cane passed them by. Leah did a double-take, as she recognized the red carnation in his right upper pocket and white Panama Hat on his head.

"Da- Indy, I think we just passed a friend of yours…"

Indy didn't hear her.

"The Professor?" He smirked, snatching a rose from a street vendor. "He was never giddy, even as a school boy. Fraulein, permit me?" he held out the flower.

"No."

"Please?"

"Yes."

"You make me very happy."

Marcus and Leah exchanged glances.

"But I am already sad, it will have shriveled up and died by tomorrow."

"O-kay, tomorrow I'll steal you another "

"I hate to interrupt but the reason we're here-" Marcus started.

"Yes I have something to show you," Elsa cut him off with a touch of shortness. She handed a small, torn piece of paper to Indy.

"Roman numerals?" Leah asked as she peered around his arm, perplexed.

"Yes… three, seven and ten, to be exact." Marcus added.

"Zis is all we found. As he was vorking at his desk in zeh library he asked us (his team) to search the map section. When we got back, everything vas gone."

"Janitors." Leah said in a hushed voice.

"Janitors?" Indy repeated, confused by this statement.

"Yes. Professional cleaner-uppers sound like the guys for that sort of job. Who else could get EVERYTHING out of there and not be noticed in so little time?"

"Tsk!" Elsa said, looking down at Leah. "Don't be silly. Here is zeh library,"

"It looks like a converted church," Brody commented as they came around the corner and faced a building not so very different in looks to the Notre Dame.

He waited a minute for her reply. She said nothing.

"Well?" he finally said with impatience.

"Shh!" She hissed. "Movie affect, here, I'll answer your question in about ten minutes. Don't ruin this moment!"

Indy, Marcus and Leah glanced at each other dubiously.

Elsa wouldn't speak until they had got into the library and were going through the aisles. FINALLY she said, "In zis case it is literal truth. We are on Holy ground. These columns were brought back as spoils after the Byzantium crusades."

She paused in front of a beautiful, stained glass window. "Now if you'll excuse me, zeh library will be closing in a few moments. I'll 'arrange' for us to stay a little longer."

As Elsa walked away Leah voiced her suspicions.

"I don't know dad, she's seem kind of… well, sneaky."

"Not to mention impertinent," Marcus added, thinking about how he had to wait ten minutes for her to answer. "Though I must admit; it's no worse than anything you can come up with."

Indy wasn't listening to them.

"Marcus, I've seen this window before."

"Where?"

"Right here in dad's diary," He whipped out the pocket-sized book and flipped to the page with the illustration. The picture and window were identical.

"Look," Marcus pointed out, "the roman numerals,"

There were three places in the drawing that were blank. In those places on the window were the three numbers on the scrap of paper Elsa had salvaged of Professor Jones' work.

"Dad was on to something here," he murmured. He glanced from the paper to the window, then surveyed the room.

At that second Elsa returned, and quickly noticed Indy seemed to be concentrating.

"Found something?" she asked with a smile.

"Uhm, yes, that window seems to be the source of the roman numerals." Brody answered, once he realized Indy had no intention of answering the question.

Elsa whirled to face the window, a frown crossing her face. "I must be blind!" she growled. Elsa caught Leah looking at her suspiciously, and put on a smile. Leah moved closer to Indy.

"I don't like her." She whispered.

Indy ignored her as his eyes caught what he was looking for. "Three!" he announced, pointing at a pillar. "Seven!" he said, now even more excited as he pointed out another. "Ten!" Indy stopped, realizing there was no number.

"Uhh, eleven?" Leah prodded.

"No!" the adults exclaimed. "Ten! Find the ten."

"Oh!" Leah nodded.

Everyone turned around to begin the search for the ten. Marcus pulled a book off the shelf, Elsa searched the pillars, and Leah and Indy stared at the floor. There was two long green lines on it.

Leah glanced up at Indiana, who returned her look with a _'are you thinkin what I'm thinkin?' _grin. Together, father and daughter turned around and raced up a pair of nearby stairs, and paused at the top. There, right below them, was an X.

"Heh," Indiana chuckled wryly to himself, "X marks the spot."

"Hey guys!" Leah called out. "Look! Ten!"

Marcus and Elsa stopped their frantic searching and turned their gaze to where Leah was pointing. Indiana wasted no time, and raced back down the stairs and towards the center of the X. Getting down on his knees, he tried to pull up the center tile, but found it was hopelessly stuck. He looked up to find something to smash it with, and found Leah standing over him with a brass stand in hand. She handed it to him, and he whammed the metal fixture into the ground! _Bang! Bang! Bang! _The tile broke loose, and Indy pulled it back. Below him was a tunnel.

"Bingo!" he said with a smirk.

"You don't disappoint Dr. Jones. You're a great deal like your father." Elsa said, clapping her hands together and smiling, almost evilly. Indiana didn't notice her look as he chuckled.

"Yeah, except he's lost and I'm not."

"You're not lost because the Janitors haven't shown up yet, dad!" Leah persisted.

Elsa rolled her eyes, and then turned to Indy. "Drop me." She commanded.

"Okay." He mumbled. Indiana took hold of her hands as she flung herself down the hole. "Whoa!" he exclaimed as he lost his hold, letting Elsa tumble to the floor of the tunnel.

"OWWW!" she screeched. "You did that on purpose!"

"Sorry!" Indiana called down. He turned towards Leah and Marcus. "Here." He said, handing the grail diary to Marcus. "Keep this for me, will ya? Oh! And keep on eye on Leah."

"But dad, I wanna go with you!" Leah groaned. Indiana shook his finger at her.

"No, you stay here and watch Marcus."

"But I thought you just said I was going to watch her-"Marcus began, but Indiana leapt down the hole and disappeared from sight.

Leah sighed and settled back to wait with Marcus. "I wish he'd take me along sometimes." She said forlornly.

Marcus patted Leah on the shoulder. "There there, your father is just looking out for you. He doesn't want to put you into any danger. He wants you in the safest position you can possibly be in."

At that second the handle of a gun came crashing down on Marcus's head, and he collapsed to the floor. Leah leapt back in horror as she stared at the three strange men in front of her. _So much for the 'keeping you in the safest position possible!' _she thought.


	5. To Austria

Chapter five

"You can't do that!" Leah exclaimed in horror as two men dragged Marcus off to a dark corner in the library. Marcus remained motionless, and Leah knew he was knocked out.

The men ignored Leah, and dropped Marcus. Pushing by her, they leapt into the hole after Indiana and Elsa.

Leah stared at the hole, wondering who on earth those men were. _Probably competition in this whole grail expedition. _She decided. _Maybe THEY'RE the janitors! _Leah thought with excitement. Then she quickly decided against it. _Too Mafia like. _Leah sighed, and turned to where Marcus lay on the ground. She'd have to figure out a way to get him home.

* * *

"Thank you very much." Leah said to the two young men she'd recruited to carry Marcus to the apartment. They gently set Marcus down and stared off into space. Leah pointed two fingers and waved them in front of their faces. "You may go now." She said.

"We may go now." The men repeated. Then they added, "And get _Pescado delgado helado_!"

"Wait, I didn't say-" Leah started, but the two men raced out of the apartment and into the street. _Pescado delgado helado. What on earth does that mean? _She thought, shaking her head. _Must be one of those weird earth defects with the force. _

Leah turned to Marcus, who was beginning to stir. "You're no doubt gonna need a lot of ice." Leah commented out loud. She turned to go into the kitchen when there was a knock at the door. "Oh great, who could that be?" she mumbled. Turning back towards the door she raced up to it. "Who is it?" she sang out. There was no way she was going to open it unless she knew who it was.

"It's you know who!" a voice replied. Leah didn't need any more clues-she knew who it was.

Leah threw the door open and squealed, "Uncle Luke!" she then proceeded to jump into Luke's arms.

"Hiya Leah." He replied with a smile.

"What are you doing here?" she asked, releasing him from her death grip.

"I felt a great trimmer in the force, and realized you and your dad needed help."

Leah rolled her eyes. "Uncle Luke, tell me the truth."

"Oh alright. I got lonely and wanted to come with you guys." He replied sheepishly.

"That's more like it. By the way, have you been having problems with the force when you tell someone what to do?" Leah asked.

"Oh, you mean that whole thing about _Pescado delgado helado_?"

"Yeah. I just got two guys to carry Marcus in and then told them they could leave, and they ran out saying they wanted _Pescado delgado helado. _I mean what does that mean?"

"I have no idea." Luke mused. "It happens every time I brain wash someone. Must be a 'weak mind' defect here on earth."

"That was my guess too."

"Ohhhhh." Marcus groaned from the couch. "I feel like a brick fell on my head."

"Someone hit you with the back handle of a pistol, Marcus." Leah explained as she raced over to her father's good friend. "I'll go get you some ice."

"Thank you, that will be very much appreciated." Marcus said with a weak smile.

"Hey, what happened to you?" Luke asked, coming over to Marcus.

"What are you doing here!" Marcus exclaimed, sitting upright. "I thought you were in-"

"I felt a great trimmer in the force-" Luke began, but Leah interrupted from the kitchen.

"Tell him the truth, Uncle Luke!"

"Fine." Luke sighed. "I was bored."

Leah returned to the living room carrying an ice packet wrapped with a towel. "This should help you." She said.

"Thank you Leah."

"You're welcome."

At that second the door opened, and Marcus, Luke and Leah turned to see who it was. "Da- I mean Indiana!" Leah exclaimed, running over to the sopping wet figure of her father. He swooped her up in a big bear hug. "Wow, you're wet!" Leah said with a grin. "And stinky! You fall into a swamp?"

"Something like that." Indy grumbled. He held the door open for Elsa, who was also very wet. And stinky. "Leah, why don't you take Elsa to the room you two are sharing and help her get cleaned up." He said.

Leah nodded, and led Elsa to their room. "What happen to you two?" Leah asked as soon as she shut the door. Elsa didn't reply, just marched straight towards her drawers and opened them. To Leah's surprise, she started throwing cloths everywhere!

Leah sat on the bed and watched Elsa run around the room knocking things over, throwing cloths on the ground and messing up the sheets. _Never seen anything like this before. _Leah thought.

After about five minutes, Elsa straightened up and grabbed a new set of cloths. "I'm going to get cleaned up." She announced to Leah, glancing at her sideways with an airy look.

"Okay." Leah said slowly. She hopped off the bed and walked out of the room. Then slowly made her way towards the living room, where her father was rambling on about something called Alexandretta.

Leah hopped onto the couch next to her dad, and glanced over a rubbing he'd done. "What's that?" she asked.

Indiana ignored her as he turned to Marcus and said, "Marcus, you get hold of Sallah. Tell him to meet you in Iskenderun."

"What can I do to help?" Luke asked.

"You can go with Marc-hey, wait a second." Indiana stared at Luke. "What are you doing here?"

"It took you _that _long to notice he was here?" Leah mumbled.

"I felt-" Luke stopped at the glare he received from Leah. "I figured I'd come along with you all."

"Meaning, you got lonely." Indiana corrected with a smirk.

"Something like that."

"It's just as well. You can go with Marcus to Iskenderun."

"What are you going to do?" Marcus asked.

"I'm going after dad." He replied with a set jaw. Indiana stood up and glanced at Leah. "Is Elsa cleaned up yet?"

"Probably." Leah replied. "But we have a huge mess to clean up in our room."

Indiana shrugged, and walked down the hall towards his room. Upon opening the door though, he stopped and stared. Leah surveyed the room, noting it looked just like her and Elsa's room.

"Gosh, wonder why she went and messed up yours too." Leah said, confused.

"Leah!" Indy snapped. "She didn't do it! I've been ransacked!"

"Yeah, we got ransacked too." She replied.

"What!" he exclaimed, and walked into Leah and Elsa's room. To Leah, it looked even worse than her father's.

"Elsa, are you alright!" Indiana called. Elsa appeared from the bathroom fully dressed. She looked annoyed, and her voice showed that.

"What do you want." She snapped. She suddenly stopped and stared at the room. "My room!" she cried.

"Mine too." Indy grunted.

Leah looked up at Elsa in surprised. "But you tore up our-"

"Leah!" Indy said with a sigh. "Can't you tell the difference between being sloppy and having your place ransacked?"

"Whatever." Leah shot back. "But I know what I saw."

"What do you think they were looking for?" Elsa asked.

"This." He announced proudly, pulling out the diary.

"Why on earth would anyone want _that_?" Elsa said bluntly.

"It's my dad's grail diary." Indy explained.

"Oh!" Elsa's eyes lit up, and a small smile tugged at her mouth. "Can I see it?"

"Uhh, not now." Indy said, slightly disturbed by the way she was acting. "You can see it when we get to Austria."

"Austria!" Leah and Elsa exclaimed. Leah sighed. _Why doesn't dad tell me anything?_

* * *

"Soooo, why is your name Schnitzel?" Leah asked from the backseat of the car as they drove down the long winding road.

"Actually, my name was originally Elsa Schneider." Elsa replied. "But the writers of this story liked the name too much and wanted to use it somewhere else. So after I graduated from the School of Schnitzel, I proudly changed my name, to Schnitzel."

"The school of Schnitzel?" Indiana repeated as he turned the car down a long driveway. "That's, uhhh, an unusual name."

"It was founded by the top Schnitzel, Jezebel, over a thousand years ago." Elsa explained. "Since then it's produced hundreds of famous graduates-Irene Schnitzel (formally Irene Adler) Elizabeth Schnitzel, (formulary Elizabeth Swan) and countless others. I'm proud to say I was a top graduate."

Indiana slowed the car down in front of a castle. Rain was pouring down the windshield, and a flash of lightning lit up the sky.

"What do you know about this place?" Indiana questioned.

"I know the Brunwalds are famous art collectors." Elsa said.

Indiana turned to Leah in the back seat and put his hand out. "Whip." he ordered.

"I'm curious," Elsa said as Indiana took the whip from Leah, "Why we brought her along."

"Uhhh," Indiana searched for an answer, "'Cause Luke would have his hands full with Marcus."

"I thought he was her father."

"Yeah, but he gets distracted easily if you couldn't tell."

Leah rolled her eyes at Indy's excuses, secretly wishing he'd just let the world know she was his daughter.

"I need your hat." He ordered Elsa.

"What are you going to do?" she asked as she handed it over.

"Yeah dad, how are you going to explain yourself, Elsa and I just showing up at this place?" Leah questioned.

"Dunno, think of something." He murmured.

* * *

"Yes." A butler said, opening the door. Indiana shoved passed him.

"And not before time! Did you intend to leave us standing on the door step all day? We're drenched!"

Leah stifled a giggle at her father's ridiculous Scottish accent. He gave her a warning look.

Indy snatched a handkerchief from the butler and sneezed a very exaggerated sneeze. "Now look! I've gone and caught a sniffle." He complained.

It was too much for Leah, she laughed out loud. The butler stared at her, then glared at Indiana. "If you're a Scotsmen than-" before he could say another word Indy punched him in the face, knocking him out.

"Yeah yeah okay whatever." Indy mumbled. He turned to Leah. "You nearly gave us away." He scolded.

"That's what happens when you bring a _child _along." Elsa sniffed.

Leah looked down, hurt by Elsa's words. _I'll prove to her I'm just as good as anyone else! _She thought.

Indy led the way down a hall, and to Leah's surprise she heard voices. Elsa and Indiana heard them too, and they all sneaked to the ledge of the hallway, and looked down to the room below. It only took one glance for Leah to jerk herself away from the sight in fear.

"Nazis." Indiana growled. "I hate these guys."

Taking hold of Leah, he quietly walked away from the banister, Elsa trailing behind. They turned a corner and walked down a hall, with several doors on either side. Indy glanced at each one, then stopped at one of them.

"This one. I think he's in here." He said quietly. Leah glanced up at the door and nodded.

"How do you know?" Elsa demanded.

"Because it's _wired_." Leah said, annoyed.

"You be nice." Indiana warned. She obeyed him and followed him to the next door.

After making sure there was no one in there Indy led the way into the room and opened the window. Taking out his whip he glanced up at a telephone wire. He then proceeded to step onto the window ceil.

"Indy? Indy!" Elsa protested.

"Don't worry, I'll be right back. This is kids' play." Indy assured her.

"I wanna come with-" Leah began, but Indy cut her off.

"No, you're staying here with Elsa. Make sure she's safe!" Indy ordered, then swung his whip and caught the wire. Swinging himself out of the window, he caught the other side of the building and crashed through the window next to the room Elsa and Leah were in. Leah watched sullenly, and then turned to face Elsa.

"Guess all we can do is wait." She said with a sigh.


	6. Traitors!

Chapter Six

Once Indy was out of sight, Elsa turned and looked down her nose at Leah with disdain. "Hmph!" She snubbed as she passed her. She walking out of the room, high heels clicking.

"Dad said to stay here," Leah returned with more than tried patience.

"_You_ ztay here. I vill do as I please."

It took Leah only a minute after Elsa left to decide it would be less scary following someone around this creepy old castle than sitting around waiting for her dad to get back.

She scooted off the windowsill and hurried to catch up.

The hall felt so much darker now that her father wasn't at her side. The rain pouring down on the rooftop, occasional rumble of thunder and usual groans and creeks that accompany large old structures didn't help to ease her mind.

As she rounded the corner, Leah thought she saw Elsa's shadow.

"Elsa," she called lowly, "Elsa-

SLAM!

Before she knew it Leah was lifted off her feet and pinned against the wall with a luger clapped beside her head. She stifled a shriek, as the crystal blue eyes of her captor held within them a very certain threat of death should she make another sound.

The sharp black uniform and single-leaf collar told her he was a colonel. Shorter than most and at least fifty, one would at first glance not consider him someone to avoid, but the features of his countenance worn with age screamed a different story. Anyone who looked into that face felt they were looking into the eyes of a tiger, and Leah was no exception.

"Herr Oberst you really are so easily diztracted," Leah recognized Elsa's voice, and heard her heels tapping around the corner. "We must hurry! Vhat is it you have found now, a mouse?"

"Something of similar nature," The Nazi hissed with a German accent, continuing to stare into the frightened little girl's eyes.

Elsa turned the corner and put her hands on her hips when she saw Leah. "Vell vell, so it is."

If circumstances had been different, Leah would have glared at her. But all she wanted was to get away.

"INDY HELP M-"

A knife that seemed to come out of nowhere found its' way to Leah's neck.

"Sorry little creature, dare you to defy me? For that I will kill you now!"

"No." Elsa stopped him. "If Indiana Jones heard that we would do better to use her as leverage. Get one of the men to lock her up somewhere; we've got a show to put on."

The colonel loosed his grip and Leah fell to the floor. With one hand he picked her back up and dragged her further down the hall, looking for someone to hand her off to. "Soldier!" He barked, quietly as he could.

A tall, skinny man in uniform came bounding up and for some reason seemed vaguely familiar to Leah.

"Oberst Vogel!" he saluted.

"Take this-" He thrust Leah towards the soldier and the man caught her just as she tripped almost fell again- "Somewhere else and do whatever it takes to be sure it keeps quiet."

He glanced once more at her as he put the knife in its sheath on his belt, as if promising to get her later.

"I see you have upset the delicate constitution of our Colonel. " The soldier told her at his leave.

Leah was trembling from head to foot.

"Don't feel so bad; it's not your fault you upset him so. He's just a tad temperamental in a very destructive sort of way."

"Uhh...what?"Leah stammered, surprised he could speak English. "Who are you?"

"Awesome."

"Nazi and awesome don't go together!"

He took out his gun and prodded her on down the hallway, but it was a very mild gesture, and unlike the Colonel, Leah did not feel much backing behind the threat.

"Alright; an undeveloped character taken from the background and thrown into the front. You can call me Random; Random Soldier."

"Why would I call you that?" She began trying to distract him.

"Because it's my name."

"How did you get a name like that?!"

"By being an undeveloped character! Movie makers don't have time to give everyone on the set a name, you know."

"Well, what part of the movie did you come from?"

"The part that hasn't happened yet- but I'll give you a hint; we're in the desert and there are caterpillars."

"You were named aptly. Are you sure you weren't at the beginning, when you took Indy and I to Mr. Donovan's house?"

"No."  
"I bet you're the reason my grandfather got kidnapped in the first place!" She gasped, suddenly seeing the connection.

"Not exactly- HEY!"

Leah slipped out of his grasp and ran the rest of the way down the corridor.

„Gefangener lösen Sie! Gefangener lösen Sie! Sperren Sie die Türen aus"!

The hall ended in a spacious room where several soldiers stood guarding and a fireplace ran with a great armchair before it. Without the Nazis, it could have been the front cover of a bed-time story book.

There were at least two other hallways that entered this room. Leah darted for the one directly across from the one she had just left. A soldier tried to grab her, but she dodged him. Just when she thought she may have a chance escaping, a hand shot out and jerked her back.

"Let me go!" Leah shouted, trying to wrench herself away from her captor.

"What's this?"

Leah froze, and stared at the man who'd grabbed her. "You-you are a-"

"Shhh!" Donovan hissed. "You can't tell anyone who I am yet, they don't know that I'm here. Wait till Indiana gets here, then I'll surprise him."

"What is it with you guys and movie effects?" Leah grumbled.

Donovan didn't respond, and handed her back to Random Soldier.

"You shouldn't have done that." Random rebuked.

"You think I'm going to just stand around and do nothing?" Leah exclaimed.

"True. You are, after all, a Jones." Random soldier mused.

"Uhh, don't you mean Skywalker?" Leah said, glancing around nervously. Before he could reply, in walked the Colonel, and right behind was Elsa. And behind her, was her father and another man she figured must be Grandpa Henry.

"Leah!" Indy exclaimed when he saw her. "Are you okay?"

"She's fine." Elsa said before Leah could say a word.

"I wasn't asking _you_." Indy snarled.

"I'm fine d-uhh, Indy." Leah said, catching herself before she gave the slip.

"I can't believe it. She ransacked her own room-and mine, and I fell for it." Indy moaned.

"Well I told you she did it." Leah said with a sigh.

"Think it's a little late to correct that mistake." Turning to his dad, he hissed, "How did you know she was a Nazi?"

Both Henry and Indy glanced as Elsa as she handed the book to someone sitting in the chair near the fire, but they couldn't tell who it was.

"I knew she was a Nazi by her accent." Henry responded. "And, it also helps that she and my other assistants saluted each other whenever they met up."

"I'm such an idiot." Indy growled.

"That's because you didn't take my advice."

Indy froze, and stared as Donovan himself stood up from the chair. "Didn't I tell you not to trust, anyone?" he smiled.

"You are a slime ball!" Henry burst out. "I knew you would sell your mother for a Etruscan vase, but I didn't realize you'd sell your country to the slime of humanity."

"Dr. Schneider!" Donovan called out, completely ignoring everything the old man had said. "There are pages torn out of this!"

Elsa ran towards Donovan and snatched the book from his hands, and flipped through the book.

"OH NO! I mean- what did you take out of this?" she demanded, turning to Indiana.

"Something." Indy smirked.

"It was a map, wasn't it?"

"So what if it was?"

"Where are these pages, we _must _have these pages!" Donovan snapped. Before Indy could give a smart reply a commotion sounded from the hall, and everyone turned to look as three Nazi soldiers entered the room dragging a blond man. It took Indy one look to know who it was.

"Luke!" he roared. "What are you doing here?"

"Wissen Sie diese idiot?" one of the soldiers asked in German, his eyes widening.

"Hi Indiana." Luke said sheepishly. "I didn't want to go with Marcus."

"Luke!" Indy groaned. "Why?! You were supposed to protect him and the bo-" Indy shut his mouth, realizing what he'd almost said. Too late.

Donovan and Elsa's eyes lit up, and Donovan said, "Excellent! Marcus sticks out like a sore thumb, we'll find him."

"Nice going." Henry muttered. Indiana's mind raced, trying to come up with something to deter them.

"You won't find him." He argued. "Brody's got friends in every village from here to the Sudan. He can speak a dozen languages, and knows every custom. He'll blend in, disappear, and you'll never see him again. With any luck, he's got the grail already."

Donovan, Elsa, the Colonel and all the rest of the Nazis stared at him. Luke and Leah exchanged shocked glances. Henry's mouth was agape.

Donovan looked from one Jones to the other and then rolled his eyes. "Right." He said sarcastically. "If that's true then the Colonel here doesn't eat pop tarts."

"What?" Leah asked, confused.

"Never mind." Donovan waved it off. "Colonel, get some men and tie the prisoners up."


	7. The Austrian Way?

_Thanks almp15 and The M.H.T Of R. for your reviews! We appreciate feedback on our stories._

_ M.H.T Of R.: You'll find out more about Indy's connection with Luke and Darth Vader and all the rest of characters as the story progresses. For now, we're still dropping little clues here and there to keep it interesting. :)_

_Thanks again for dropping us a note!_

_-Collie and Shire_

* * *

Chapter seven

"Intolerable," Henry muttered under his breath. He, Luke and Indiana were all tied to chairs, with Leah bound at the feet of Indiana.

"Well, gramp… uhh… Mr. Henry Jones," Leah said, "I've heard so much about you, and would have liked to meet you under better circumstances but I guess this will just have to do. I'm Leah Skywalker."

"Oh is that who this old geezer- I mean, strapping young fellow is?" Luke smirked.

Henry glared at him severely.

"Yes, genius. This, is my dad." Indiana answered with no pride and much irritation.

"And I thought you were old," Luke elbowed Indy.

"And Ben wasn't?" Indiana snorted.

"Ben is timeless."

"Give me a break! At least dad's not nine hundred."

"Yeah, he would be all wrinkled and green by then." Luke stated matter-a-fact.

"-You know that Yoda was never human, right?" Indy inquired.

"Uhhh…"

"IT ISH a pleashure to meet you, _Leah_. My name'sh Henry Jones Shenior." Henry continued his and Leah's' original conversation.

"Thank you! Now I was wondering; do you think you could convince 'Indy' to let me keep a pony?" Leah asked with a mischievous grin.

"Leah!" Indy scolded.

"Thish ish hardly the time and plashe for such thoughtsh, young lady." Henry answered incredulously, looking first at the Nazi soldiers and then at the machine guns. "Beshides, why would you ashk me?"

Leah stared at him blankly, then looked to her father. He was shaking his head and looking quite stern. "He hasn't told you yet," Leah said at last.

"Told me what?"

Leah rolled her eyes and leaned back in the chair she was tied up in. "Nothing. Now is not a good time."

"Now you've got me curious. What great shecret could you two be hiding from me?" Henry began to ponder.

Well it sounded like a good time to change the subject before Henry realized his words were the answer to his question.

"So! You are _Henry_ Jones Senior_?_" Leah smiled sweetly. "I didn't know _Indy _had a brother."

"Well, no-"

"-Dr. Schnitzel. Message from Berlin." Everyone erected themselves as the Colonel came striding in with his stick, ignoring completely the prisoners' camaraderie. "You must return immediately, a rally at the Institute of Aryan Culture."

"So?" Elsa sniffed.

"Your presence on zeh platform is requested from zeh highest level," The Colonel insisted.

"I don't feel like it."

"Zhen you will feel nothing else, ever again."

"Well since you put it that way. Thank you, Herr Oberst." She turned to Donovan. "I vill meet you in Iskenderun."

"Take this with you to the Reich Museum," Donovan handed her the diary carelessly. "It'll show them our progress, ahead of schedule. Without the map it's no better than a souvenir."

Once Elsa had agreed to honor Germany with her presence the Colonel had turned his attention to the prisoners; eying each of them individually and slapping his stick against his palm.

"Let me kill zem now," he turned to Donovan and Elsa. Leah cringed at the vicious delight in his voice at the word _kill_.

"No. If Brody escapes ve vill need zem alive." Elsa said.

Leah held back a spontaneous burst of laughter. The thought of Marcus evading _anyone_ was amusing.

Donovan nodded. "Always do as the doctor orders." He began walking out of the room with the colonel close at his heels.

"You know, that wasn't really funny," Indy said.

"Leave it to a guy like Donovan to flatten a pristine moment of humor," Leah muttered under her breath.

Donovan ignored them and exited the room.

Leah turned her attention to Elsa, who was in the middle of defending herself to Indy.

"...anything for the grail. You, would have done the same."

"I'm sorry you think that." Indy growled. Elsa sighed, and glanced at the floor. Suddenly, she looked back up and crossed her eyes and puckered up her lips like a fish! Indy watched in shock, as did Leah and Luke. Henry, who was tied directly behind Indy, couldn't see a thing.

"What's going on?" he demanded. A sharp footstep caused Leah to glance towards the door, where Colonel Vogel was entering.

"Doctor Schnitzel! Your car iz vaiting." he announced.

Elsa stopped doing 'fish face', and smiled in a vindictive sort of way. "Zat is how Austrians say goodbye," She told Indy.

A soldier in the background, observing the scene, very definitely shook his head no. Indiana could only stare as she walked off.

"And zis is how we say gutbye in Germany, Dr. Jones." Colonel Vogel said, coming and standing right in front of Indy and Leah. Indy turned his head just in time to get punched square in the face. The chairs bounced backwards and Indy's head smacked into Henry's. Vogel laughed, and walked out of the room, swinging his cane.

"I can't decide which was better, the Austrian way or the German way." Indy muttered to Leah.

"Ooo, definitely the German way." Leah said without hesitation.

"Easy for you to say, you weren't the one who got punched." her father snapped.

"I hate to interrupt this argument, but shouldn't we be thinking of how to _escape_?" Henry asked.

"Help me get these ropes off!" Indy said as he struggled against his binds. "We have to get to Marcus before the Nazis do."

"Wait, but you said Marcus would disappear, blend in, never be seen again!" Luke interjected.

"Are you kidding Luke?" Indy exclaimed. "Marcus got lost in his own museum once!"

"I remember that." Leah giggled. "And afterwards he claimed that the weird Egyptian thingy caused everything in the museum to come to life!"

"I'm curious young lady," Henry said as Indy jerked at his ropes, "how you and your father, Luke, come to know my son?"

"Old friends." Indy quickly said. Before his dad could say anything else Indiana commanded, "Dad, reach into my left jacket pocket."

"What am I looking for?" said Henry as he did what his son had told him.

"My lucky charm."

"Actually," Lea commented sheepishly, "I have that." She then proceeded to twist her hands around and pull the lighter out of her pocket.

"Leah!" Indy groaned. "How many times have I told you to stop taking that!"

"Sorry."

"Sorry is not going to cut it."

Leah shoved the lighter into Henry's hand, and he opened it up and flipped it on. "Ouch!" he cried. Leah turned her head and watched in horror as a small flame started on the carpet.

"Quick! Get it out!" Luke yelled, blowing as hard as he could.

"Young man, I don't think you should-" Henry started, but Luke blew too hard and the whole rug ignited.

"Son, I think I should tell you something." Henry said, leaning his head towards Indy's.

"I'm busy." Indy grunted.

"Indy, the floor's on fire!" Leah, Henry and Luke shouted.

"And the chair!" Henry added.

Indy froze, and glanced back.

"This is bad, this is _really _bad!" Indy groaned. _How am I going to get all four of us out of a burning room alive!?_


	8. A Crazy Colonel

_Augh! Sorry readers! Collie and I have been busy with on going life, what with training horses and teaching art classes, and we have had little time to write in this. With Christmas coming we don't expect to post another chapter until after the holidays, so sorry to keep you waiting. Thanks for reading and waiting patiently, and we hope you enjoy this new chapter! Please review! It does ever so inspire us to write more! :D_

_-Shire from CollieandShire_

* * *

Chapter eight: A Crazy Colonel

"Quick!" Indiana shouted, rocking the chair he and his father were tied to, "Try to get the ropes undone!"

"I thought we'd been through thish." Henry muttered, jerking on the bounds that tied his wrists in place.

"Indy suffers from short-term memory loss." Leah explained, squirming as she attempted to free herself.

"Guys." Luke began.

"Not now Luke!" Indy groaned. He threw himself forward, trying to snap the ropes, but instead caused the chair to fall forward and he hit his face. "OWW!"

"Guys." Luke said again.

"Young man, can't you see we're in a predicament?" Henry demanded; his chair on top of Indiana's.

"Git offa me!" Indiana roared in a muffled voice.

"Guys."

"What is it Uncl-I mean, dad?" Leah snapped as she scooted towards Indiana to see if she could help him get up.

"You do realize I have my light saber."

At this Indiana stopped struggling, and Leah turned her head towards Luke.

"Well then what are you waiting for?" Leah exclaimed. "Use it!"

"I'm afraid of cutting myself when it slides open." He complained.

"Luke, iffya avven't notished, we're gonna git burned alif here if you on't urry up and USE IT!" Indiana tried to shout, but unsuccessfully.

Luke glanced at the fire that was growing by the second behind him, and made his decision. He closed his eyes and used the force.

_CHEWWWWIIOOOINNNNGGG!_ The light saber hummed as it slid open, instantly cutting Luke's ropes. The saber dropped to the ground, causing a hole to form in the floor. Luke grabbed the light saber and used it to cut the ropes around his legs. Now free, he raced towards Leah and cut her bonds.

"Where did you get _that_?" Henry exclaimed as Luke moved from Leah to them, righting the chair and then cutting them lose. Indiana spat and sputtered, then glared at Luke.

"Thanks _genius._" He growled.

Luke ignored him and answered Henry's question. "It was a present from a great Jedi master by the name of Obi Wan Kenobi."

Henry stared at him as he and Indiana stood up, taking their place by Luke and Leah. "Come again?"

"Never mind." Indy said, face palming. "Come on, we've got to look for an escape!"

At that second the door to the room burst open, and there stood Colonel Vogel with a gun in his hand. The four escapees stared at him, and he stared back in complete shock.

Then, "Escapees!" the Colonel shrieked, cocking the gun and squeezing the trigger.

Leah reacted quickly. Using the force, she caused the gun to point up, and the Colonel shot the ceiling.

Indy took this as an opportunity to race over and punch Vogel in the face. _Wham! _Knocking him to the floor, Indiana turned to the others and yelled, "Let's _go_!"

The others leapt into action and ran after Indy, leaving the Colonel, dazed, on the floor. _That was weird. _He thought, groaning and picking himself up. "Männer! Hol dir alle Waffen! Ausbrecher!" he yelled, and ran down the hall in hot pursuit.

They ran through the corridors, Luke, who was using his light saber to guide them, in the front. Behind them the angered Colonel gained, a fully armed… well, army, at his side.

Unfortunately, Luke wasn't a very good trail guide and as he began to ascend some stairs Indy hesitated, really began to doubt his abilities.

"Stairs? Luke we want to get outta here! Are you sure up is the way out?"

"Of course! The force is never wrong."

The shouts of the Nazi soldiers echoed down the halls continually, but a new sound, one like something metal clanking along on the floor like got Indy, Henry, and Leahs' attention.

Indy looked and saw it was small and round, and only about fifty or so feet away from them.

"GRENADE!" He yelled, tossing Leah and shoving his dad up the stairs.

The weapon exploded and threw Indiana on his back. The next thing he knew his father and his daughter were picking him up off the floor, and there was a great big hole in the wall where he had been standing.

"Boy that Colonel has a good arm! It sounds like they're still at least five hundred yards down the hallway."

As they stood, a lone figure suddenly appeared around the corner. It was Vogel! He had sprinted a hundred yards ahead of all the other soldiers.

"For a short guy he sure runs fast," Leah commented.

_Bang! Pew! Bonk! Boyng_!

The Colonel cleaned out his luger's barrel, tossed the gun aside and started with the next one. The three escapees took off up the stairs that spiraled up.

"Where dosh that young fellow intend to go?" Henry gasped, referring to Luke who was somewhere ahead of them.

"Save your breath!" Indy huffed as they scaled the stairs. "You're going to need it."

They got to the top and found Luke in the middle of a very empty room. It appeared to be one of the castle towers, according to the view and the spacious, cone-like roof above.

As they entered, Indy shut and bolted the door behind them.

Luke seemed to be holding his light saber straight up in the air. There was a rather dazed expression on his face.

"Well, where next!" Indy snapped, not at all anticipating a good answer.

"This is very interesting. Yes, very. You- you see Indy, the force, it's a very sensitive sort of thing…"

"Luke, there is an army of angry Nazis coming up the stairs to kill us. Please tell me you didn't trap us up here."

"It doesn't make sense! The force is always right! But right now, it's saying we must go straight up."

"Straight up?" Indy repeated incredulously.

Leah had been taking in the situation quietly, from the sidelines. Now, though, she was pretty sure she knew what was wrong.

"Can I see the light saber?" She asked.

Luke handed it to her. She shut it off, and let it go. It went straight up and slammed against the metal roofing with an impressive bang.

"Ohhhhh…" Luke said sheepishly. "That explains it."

Indy and Henry nodded, pretending to understand. "And this means?"

"The light saber is a strong magnet. The roof is magnetic."

Indy shook his head angrily and shoved passed Luke in search of some other way out.

"Hey!"

"There's got to be a… secret passageway or something!"

Just then someone slammed into the bolted door behind them. Nobody had to ask even which soldier it was. It was silent for a second, then there was a growl as Vogel picked himself up.

This time the other soldiers weren't far behind.

„Ach, nicht wieder. Es ist zu spät im Tag für dies! Er läuft Tiefpunkt auf pop tart Kraftstoff"!

„Ich werde sie alle zu smitherines blasen"!

"That door is not going to hold them for long." Leah mused as the Colonel began slamming himself against the door again.

"No kidding. Luke! Start looking for a way out!" Indy ordered.

"You know, I find that when I sit back and think about something," Henry began, as he sat back in a chair. Suddenly the ground beneath Indiana opened, and with a shout he fell down a pair of stairs. Leah, Henry and Luke stared in surprise, and Henry exclaimed, "The solution presents itself!"

He leapt out of the chair and followed Leah and Luke down the stairs into a boat harbor.

* * *

Meanwhile, Colonel Vogel had not given up yet, and was continuing to slam himself against the door. _Wham! Bang! Slam!_

"Jemand Sie mich nicht eine weitere Granate!" he shouted.

A soldier ran up and handed him a box, filled to overflowing with explosives.

"Aha!" Vogel exclaimed gleefully, setting the box down next to the door and striking a match.

"Uhh, Oberst." A Lieutenant began, but it was too late. Vogel dropped the match into the box and laughed evilly.

"Take zat, you ztupid Americans!" he yelled between laughs.

"Oberst!" Vogel's men yelled, running away from the door.

"Vhat?" he demanded, turning to his men as the fled from the door. He then looked down at the box, and his eyes widened. "Oh, ja."

* * *

The three men and the young girl had only just discovered the motorcycles when _boom_! They were thrown with a splash into the water by an enormous explosion from the castle!

"What on earth was _that_?" Indiana sputtered as he stood up, staring at the wall of smoke that rose from the large stone building.

"What insane person would destroy such a beautiful building like that!" Henry moaned. "They've utterly destroyed it!"

"Well, they've given us a break, that's for sure. Come on, let's go!" Leah beckoned, running towards the motorcycles.

"She's right, lets run for it while we still can." Indiana agreed, and they all ran towards a pair of motorcycles. "Luke and I will drive; Leah and dad can be passengers. Leah, you ride with Luke, dad, you're with me."

* * *

Colonel Vogel swore and spewed out dust as he lifted himself out of the debris of the giant hole he'd just blown in the wall. _I will never do _that _again. _

Turning back down the hall, he shouted, "Wir haben noch die Gefangenen zu fangen! Gehen Sie lassen Sie uns, Männer!"

Timidly the soldiers appeared from doorways and archways, staring at the place where a wall and door used to be. "Schnell!" Vogel yelled, and he drew another weapon and raced towards the once doorway, his men following suit and withdrawing their own weapons.

* * *

_Hope you enjoyed this chapter! Please review! If you're a writer, you know how much reviews mean to us! :D_


	9. Donovan's Real Motives

_Well, it seems we've updated faster than we thought we would! I need to warn you all, though, that from here on out it will be really crazy and full of very short chapters. We're in a bit of a hurry to finish the story up so we can start on some new ones, so we hope you don't mind. :) Our chapters will no longer be full of detail, but we do leave in enough detail for you to understand what's going on, and the rest of the chapters will be full of funny references! Thanks to all who've been following our story, and please leave us a note! Hope you like this next chapter! We should be finishing up the story fairly soon!_

_-Shire from CollieandShire_

* * *

AMERICANS ESCAPED. CHASING THEM DOWN. IN BERLIN. AFFIRMATIVE?

A telegraph officer read the telegram, and then raced to find Donovan. Finding Schnitzel instead, he demanded, "I must see Donovan right away. Where is he?"

"He's giving the men a pep talk." Schnitzel replied. "You should join them."

* * *

"Yeah, be prepared!" a random soldier repeated. "For what?"

"For the death of Der Führer!" Donovan snapped, annoyed.

"Why, is he sick?"

"No, we're going to kill him. Himmler too."

"That's a great idea! Who needs a Führer!"

"No Führer no Führer La la la la la!"

"Idiots! There will _be _a Führer!" Donovan yelled.

"But you just said-"

"_I _will be Führer. Stick with me, and you'll never go hungry again!"

"I didn't even know we _were _hungry." random soldier three whispered to random soldier one. Random soldier one shrugged his shoulders.

"At least we won't _be _hungry."

"Alright fine." Donovan said, pulling out a picture of the grail. "You'll never be _thirsty_! Does that work for you?"

"Yay!"

* * *

After the pep talk, the telegraph was delivered to General Veers- I mean, Donovan. Upon scanning the telegraph, Donovan rolled his eyes. "Why does it seem I can't leave Colonel Vogel alone for one second without him messing something up?" he muttered to himself.

"Herr Donovan!" a soldier called out. Donovan turned to see a sergeant running towards him, something in his hand. "I have something to tell you!"

"Yes what is it soldier?"

The sergeant clicked on a red object, which Donovan curiously observed lit up. "What is that?" Donovan demanded.

"This would be an iPod, sir." The sergeant explained with a grin.

"A what?"

"Just watch."

Donovan leaned over the soldier and watched as he appeared on the object. "How on earth-"

"Shhh! Just watch."

There he was, entering a strange room with a weird knight looking guy, Indiana Jones and Dr. Schnitzel. All around him were holy grails, except Schnitzel gave him the wrong one and-

"Blaaa!" Donovan spat. "Where did you get _this_?"

"Allow me to tell you my name. I am Don of the future." Don said.

"You wouldn't happen to be with Lord Vader, would you?"

"No, but I've visited that realm, too. No, I'm from the twenty-first century. Anyways, I'm a huge fan of your work and couldn't bear the thought of you dying and all, so I brought my iPod along to show you what will happen in the future _if _you ask Dr. Schnitzel which cup to drink from."

Don glanced back, and all of a sudden a silver car like nothing Donovan had ever seen before appeared. "That would be my ride. Thought I'd share this with you. Gotta go catch ya later!"

And with that, the Sergeant named Don ran towards the car, jumped in and drove off, the car disappearing in thin air.

_That was weird. _Donovan thought with a shake of his head. He turned around. "Augh!" he shouted. "Colonel, what are you doing here?"

Colonel Vogel stepped forward, a crazed look in his eye. "Prisoners escaped." He said.

"Yes I'm aware of that." Donovan replied. He peered closer at the Colonel. "Uhmm, Colonel, has anyone fixed you breakfast yet?"

"Nein."

"Go ask Dr. Schnitzel to fix you some pop tarts."

"Yesh sir!" the Colonel turned around and teetered away, singing _Die Forelle_. Donovan rolled his eyes. _Things could be worse. Like the escaped prisoners could be here right now- _ "The stupid prisoner is here!" Vogel shrieked suddenly, grabbing a grenade and chasing down a familiar looking blond man. _No, I suppose things can't get any worse._

* * *

Luke ran as fast as he could as the Colonel dogged his steps, only feet behind him. _I did not go into Berlin, Germany, get chased by this guy there, get on a blimp, nearly crash and die in an airplane to die here in Iskenderun, Hatay! _Luke ran into a building, intending to go out the back door. An all too familiar clanking noise followed him. _Oh wait, that's a - _KA-BOOM!

* * *

Colonel Vogel searched the rubble of the building he'd just annihilated with a grenade.

"Aha. A survivor!" He exclaimed as he dragged out a very singed Luke Skywalker. "OW."

"Where are the Joneses headed? Talk!"

"Okay. They said-" Luke began, but the Colonel interrupted.

"I see your will is strong,"

"No it isn't…"

"Well we have ways of making you talk."

"But that's what-!"

"Shh!"

Vogel ran to his tank and leaped in. He aimed, point blank at Luke with the largest cannon.

"Hey! Hey I'm willing to talk! I've been from the star-ha-ha-art!" Luke sobbed.

"Mmm, negative I consider myself beat; I could never get anything out of you so I will blow you to smithereens. Where are your rebel friends now? HAHA HA!"

Suddenly, from within the Nazi camp, yelled the feminine voice of Elsa Schnitzel. "Ernst! You're pop-tarts are ready!"

"ALRIGHT!" With that the Colonel leapt off his tank and raced away with shouts of joy. Luke lay there in shock, than jumped up and ran off to find Indiana, whom he knew was waiting atop the hill with the car they'd borrowed from Sallah. _Well, if there's one thing I learned today, is do NOT deprive that Colonel from breakfast. _


	10. Easing into Battle

_YES! WE ARE FINALLY BACK! YAY YAY YAY YAY! :D_

_Well, thank you Jaina Padame Solo for following the story, and ocnarf for favoriting, and RowdyClara for reviewing, following and favoriting! We are so excited that you read it you inspired us to write more, RowdyClara! :D_

_This chapter is hereby dedicated to The M.H.T. of R. She will know why when she reads this. :)_

_And a warning to the readers-we haven't written for so long that when we finally sat down and did this it was late at night and we were crazy. So expect this chapter to be full of the randomness and craziness. :) In other words, this should be normal for us. :D_

_I think there is only one or two more chapters after this, and we'll try to aim to finish it by the end of August before we go on vacation. So here's hoping!_

_Thanks for reading and please review! Thank you! :D_

_-Collie and Shire from CollieandShire_

* * *

_Chapter Ten_

Easing into Battle

Sallah chewed his lower lip thoughtfully until he spotted the man. "Ooo." He glowered as he stared at the guy in the black suit.

_*Flashback time! :D*_

"Does anyone understand a word I am saying?" Marcus Brody muttered as he wandered through the market place where he was supposed to meet Sallah.

"Mr. Brody!" Sallah came around the corner, caught sight of the 'fish out of water' and came over and shook Marcus's hand. "So pleased you made it! Do you have the extra special, don't pull it out in public or someone might see it map?"

"Why yes, it's right-" Marcus was about to lift the map out of his pocket when two very suspicious men wearing all black suits and sweating profusely for it suddenly called his name.

"Marcus Brody?"

"Yes?" Marcus answered.

The one wearing small round glasses nodded curtly, a cheesy grin playing at his face. "The museum of directories has sent a cab for you,"

"How nice-"

"Not nice. There is no museum." Sallah interrupted.

The second man in black turned around to confront Sallah- but before he could say a word Sallah hit him in the face.

"Wait- weren't you supposed to let him say something first?" Marcus objected.

"Less talk, more action!"

Sallah shoved the other guy into one of the market stands and ushered Marcus into a building that hadn't been there the day before.

Two of the ninjas' from the Basket Chase scene had been standing around in a nonchalant manner up to now. As soon as Brody was in they threw up the ramp that led to the door, sealing it shut and revealing the Nazi sign beneath it.

The men in black hopped in the front with a sneer to Sallah, the truck roared to life and shot down the dirt road doing eighty.

Sallah, hands on his hips, gave them the squinty eyes.

"We'll get even."

* * *

"Sallah? Sallah? Hey, _SALLAH!" _

Sallah shook his head and turned to face Indy. "What?" he asked.

"You were contemplating sweet revenge again, weren't you?" Indy inquired. Leah giggled and Indy's dad rolled his eyes.

Sallah didn't say anything, only grinned sheepishly.

* * *

_Meanwhile…_

Vogel came around the canyon corner. Taking three steps out, he stopped as he stared intently at the map, then looked around in a confused manner.

"I'M LOST!" He suddenly cried out, clenching the paper and buckling at the knees.

"You only went TEN FEET!" Donovan roared over the noise of the massive tank.

Vogel turned gratefully towards the tank. "Oh!" he cried.

Donovan did a face palm and shook his head.

* * *

Luke! Where've you been?" Indy demanded as the crispy Jedi master clambered up the cliff towards where Indiana, Leah, Henry Sr, and Sallah were chilling. (They were drinking ice tea and lemonade under the umbrellas they'd set up.)

"Do you really want to know?" Luke glowered, taking a glass of lemonade from Leah's offering hand and setting himself down in the shade of one of the umbrellas.

"No." Indy grumbled and returned the binoculars to his eyes to watch the caravan.

"We've been waiting for you for _hours_." Sallah complained.

"Yeah well, you're the ones who volunteered me for the scouting job."

"Uhh," Leah giggled, "You said you were good at that, remember? 'The force is with you.'"

"You do not want to get on my dark side right now." Luke seethed.

"Ooo, someone's getting in touch with his inner Vader." Leah teased.

"Lay off of him, Leah." Indy warned, noting that Luke was not in his usual happy go lucky attitude.

"Shouldn't her father be the one to tell her that?" Henry asked his son.

"Uhh, yeah." Indy caught himself, realizing that Henry still didn't know that Leah was his daughter. (how he missed that, he didn't know.) "Luke, tell your daughter to lay off of you."

"What?" Luke questioned.

"Oh look!" Indy pointed out to distract his father, "The Nazis are coming! And there's Marcus!"

"Duh, I told you they had him." Sallah mumbled. Indy gave him the warning look.

It may surprise you, but Marcus Brody did not blend in and disappear as Indy boasted he would.

Now they had him in the back seat of Donovan's jeep.

* * *

"Care to wet your whistle, Marcus?" Donovan offered in a jeering sort of way

"No." Marcus pouted.

"Whatever."

"Gimme that," Vogel snatched the canteen from Marcus who had suddenly changed his mind and taken the canteen from Donovan. Vogel turned to Donovan. "We must be within three or four miles. Otherwise we might get off the map again."

"Ooo, we wouldn't want to do that again, would we Colonel?" Donovan sneered, easing into an English accent he took up only while in the presence of the bad guys.

Vogel nodded and took three huge swallows out of the canteen as Donovan went on about how wonderful the Grail was going to be to Brody. As the Colonel sloshed the water around in his mouth, the idea to spew it all out onto the back of Donovan's head did not fail to cross his mind.

Suddenly something glinted off the side of the mountain.

"Shiny!" Elza pointed out.

"Let's not get carried away!" Donovan objected. "Remember the last time you chased down the Shiny."

"But it's really there!" Elza insisted, jumping up and down and pointing.

Donovan studied the place carefully. "…What is a car doing up there?" He puzzled. "And are those...umbrellas? And an _ice chest?_"

* * *

"What's happening?" Leah asked.

Indy peered into the glasses. "Uhh, Donovan is pointing in our direction… now the Colonel is having a conniption… he's running to the tank… Donovan is trying to reason with him… he shut the hatch…"

"Shouldn't you get down from there?!" Henry demanded.

"Naw-" Indy started, but didn't finish.

The main cannon on the tank resounded it's blast. Indy grabbed Leah and ducked behind one of the rocks.

_SKA-DOOSH!_

One burning wheel, tumbling down the hill was all that remained of Sallahs' brother-in-law's car.

"-that could be a problem," Leah mused.

Indy stuffed his binoculars back into their case and took his gun out. "Yeah, you think? Let's go get some of their horses."

"I want a pony-"

"No, no ponies!" Indy stopped her short. "This is a manly trip."

"How about-" Sallah began, but Indy glared at him.

"No _camels _either."

"Aww." Sallah and Leah whined.

"How on earth did I get stuck with a crew like this." Indy moaned. He glanced over to one of the umbrellas, where Luke was dozing. "Luke, get up!" he barked. "It's time to move out."

* * *

The tank hatch opened quietly. Donovan sat in the jeep, strumming his fingers on the dashboard irritably.

"Are you satisfied, Colonel?"

Vogel did not answer, but slipped back out of the tank and got his binoculars out.

"No."

"Why?"

"It was just a car."

"Well, whoever it belonged to will probably die in this heat because they have no way back to civilization. Does that make you feel any better?"

"Yes."

Donovan shook his head. "You're rather devious, aren't you Colonel?"

Suddenly out of nowhere a million gun shots sounded.

"The Shinies are attacking!" Elza shrieked, falling to the ground and covering her head.

"No! That would probably be Jones!" Donovan shouted back, ducking behind the car.

Vogel summoned several Random Soldiers and they raced to the tank, laughing.

_How on earth did I get stuck with a crew like this? _Donovan moaned. That, was a good question.

* * *

_Another chapter up! Yay! :D And like we said, this one was really random. We're just going to start skimming and having fun. Hopefully you guys are okay with that. :)_

_And The M.H.T. of R, I'm sure you have figured out why this chapter was dedicated to you. Thanks for inspiring us for that. :)_

_Hope to see you all soon at the next chapter! Please review, we appreciate it! :D_

_-Collie and Shire_


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